Christmas Series Part 3 — The People We Love… and the Ones We Struggle With
Christmas is so close …
Working on a betterment, see our membership article on this topic for next steps and best tools: Membership — Blessed Ways of Life or contact us at info@blessedwaysoflife.com for more information.
Every December, Jordan felt like his phone buzzed more than his heart beat.
His parents wanted Christmas Eve dinner.
His in-laws expected Christmas Day brunch.
His siblings planned a Boxing Day gathering.
And somewhere in between, his kids kept asking, “Dad… when is our Christmas?”
He tried to laugh it off, but quietly, the pressure settled on his chest like a weight he couldn’t shake.
Each family had their traditions, expectations, and ideas of what Christmas “should” look like. Somehow, Jordan was expected to honour them all without disappointing anyone. One afternoon, after scrolling through a dozen group chats, he realized he wasn’t excited. His coffee had gone cold on the counter—he hadn’t even noticed.
He wasn’t avoiding family.
He was drowning in expectations.
He felt tired. Stretched thin.
Trapped between loving everyone and pleasing no one.
And beneath the holiday lights, he carried a quiet truth:
“I love my family… but this is too much.”
Many people enter the holidays with that same hidden tension. We want warmth, but we brace for old dynamics. We want connection, but we feel pulled in too many directions. We want joy, but we step into rooms where history still sits at the table.
Christmas doesn’t erase tension.
Sometimes—it magnifies it.
Because the people we love most can also be the ones we struggle with the most, especially when personalities, expectations, and emotions collide during the busiest season of the year.
✨ The Truth About Holiday Relationships
The holidays stir:
unresolved conflicts
old wounds
competing expectations
emotional triggers
guilt from trying to be everywhere at once
Love doesn’t require pretending these things don’t exist.
Love requires navigating them with honesty, grace, and boundaries.
It’s not disloyal to acknowledge tension.
It’s healthy.
✨ 5 Realities We Rarely Admit at Christmas
Some people drain us even when they don’t mean to.
Old wounds resurface the moment we walk through the door.
Expectations often outweigh our energy.
Some conversations leave us feeling smaller, not supported.
Some gatherings leave us lonelier than staying home.
Which one feels familiar for you?
Naming reality frees us to approach the season with wisdom instead of overwhelm.
✨ Practical Ways to Enjoy the Season With Family & Friends
1. Set Emotional Expectations Before You Show Up
Walking in unprepared sets you up for stress.
Ask yourself:
“What outcome do I want from this gathering?”
“What topics will I avoid?”
“What energy am I choosing to bring?”
A prepared heart reacts less, connects more.
2. Create Your Own Family Rhythm
You’re not obligated to fulfil every expectation.
Choose what works best for your household.
This might look like:
creating one tradition that is “just us”
rotating which family you see each year
splitting time instead of giving it all away
Saying yes to everything means saying no to yourself.
You’re allowed to simplify Christmas.
3. Use Micro-Boundaries to Maintain Peace
Boundaries don’t need to be harsh.
They can be simple, gentle, and steadying.
Try phrases like:
“We’ll stay for two hours.”
“I’m not discussing that topic this year.”
“We’re keeping things simple, but we’d love to see you for a bit.”
Small boundaries prevent big conflicts.
4. Choose Presence Over Performance
You don’t have to entertain everyone or carry every conversation.
Give your attention to a few meaningful interactions instead of stretching yourself thin.
Presence builds connection.
Performance builds exhaustion.
5. Step Away When Needed
If the room gets heavy or overstimulating, take a break.
A short walk, a quiet moment, or fresh air can calm your emotions and reset your energy.
Regulated adults create regulated environments.
✨ Helping Kids Navigate Holiday Expectations
Kids can feel overwhelmed by noise, people, and pressure.
Prepare them ahead of time:
“Here’s what today will look like…”
Give them space when they need it.
Don’t force hugs or affection—teach them consent and comfort.
Kids don’t remember perfect gatherings.
They remember how safe they felt.
✨ Faith Reflection: Jesus’ Relational Wisdom
Jesus loved deeply, but He also set boundaries.
He stepped away from crowds.
He paused before responding.
He walked away from hostility.
He challenged unhealthy patterns with calm clarity.
He showed us that love can be warm and wise.
That compassion doesn’t require enabling.
That peace isn’t passive—it’s intentional.
Jesus didn’t stay in places that drained Him.
He moved with purpose, discernment, and truth in love.
And so can we.
✨ Closing Reflection
As you walk through this Christmas season, ask yourself:
Who might God be inviting you to forgive, understand, or release this year?
And just as importantly—
what part of you is God inviting you to protect?
Please don’t hesitate to pass this on to anyone who may find it valuable.
Inspired story: Christmas Series Part 1 — The Gift of Slowing Down — Blessed Ways of Life
Please join us on our Facebook group to share your thoughts and join the Blessed Ways of Life community: Blessed Ways of life | Facebook
Youtube Video: Exploring Blended Families
Short Video: Addressing our Insecurities
Personal Reflection:
