Teaching Kids Conflict Resolution

Nov 3

Are You Setting the Right Example?

Working on a betterment, see our membership articles for next steps and best tools: Membership — Blessed Ways of Life or contact us at info@blessedwaysoflife.com for more information.

It started with a crayon. One child grabbed it, the other screamed, and within seconds, I was refereeing another preschool war. I wanted to yell. But I paused. What would yelling teach them about handling conflict?

Children are always watching. Whether it’s how we handle stress, speak to our partner, or respond to frustration in traffic—they’re taking mental notes. When it comes to conflict, kids don’t just learn from what we say. They absorb what we do. Like little sponges, they mimic the tone, body language, and emotional responses they see in us every day.

So here’s the question: Are you modeling healthy conflict resolution—or unknowingly teaching them to avoid, explode, or blame?

Why Conflict Skills Matter (And Why Parents Should Care)

Conflict is part of life—on the playground, in the classroom, and at home. Kids will disagree, feel hurt, and face misunderstandings. What matters most is whether they learn how to navigate those moments in a healthy, respectful way.

Without guidance, children may:

Bottle up emotions until they burst
Lash out verbally or physically
Struggle with friendships
Feel anxious about confrontation

But with the right tools, they can build:

Stronger relationships
Better emotional regulation
Clearer communication skills
Greater empathy and resilience

And all of that starts with us.

Are You Accidentally Teaching Avoidance?

It’s easy to assume our children only absorb the lessons we intentionally teach. But in truth, our everyday behavior is the most powerful teacher they’ll ever have.

When they see us:

Yelling during disagreements, they learn that volume equals control.
Giving the silent treatment, they learn to shut down emotionally.
Apologizing sincerely, they learn the value of humility.
Listening without interrupting, they learn the power of respect.

Before we expect our kids to manage conflict well, we must ask ourselves: How do I manage mine?

5 Simple Habits That Show Your Kids How to Handle Conflict

Just like riding a bike or tying shoes, kids need step-by-step guidance when it comes to conflict. Here are skills you can begin modeling and teaching now:

1. Name Emotions

Help your child build an emotional vocabulary. “I feel angry,” “I feel left out,” “I feel frustrated.” Naming feelings helps kids express instead of explode.

2. Listen to Understand

Model pausing to hear the other person’s side. Try: "I hear you're upset. Can you help me understand what happened?"

3. Use “I” Statements

Teach them to express without blaming: “I felt sad when you took my toy” instead of “You made me mad.”

4. Take a Break

Sometimes emotions are too big in the moment. Show them how to take a breath or step away and return once calm.

5. Find Solutions Together

Help them brainstorm fair ways to move forward—taking turns, apologizing, or problem-solving with empathy.

Phrases to Practice With Your Kids

“I can see you’re upset. Can we talk about it?”
“Let’s take a break and figure this out when we’re calmer.”
“We can disagree and still respect each other.”

Common Parent Pitfalls (And What to Do Instead)

We all have our moments, but here are some common traps to be aware of:

“Do as I say, not as I do” – Kids follow actions more than instructions.
Jumping in too fast – Give your child time to process or speak first.
Avoiding conflict altogether – This teaches suppression, not resolution.

Small shifts in awareness go a long way.

What If You Didn’t Learn This Growing Up?

Let’s be honest—many of us didn’t grow up seeing conflict handled in healthy ways. Maybe you witnessed yelling, avoidance, manipulation, or silent tension. If that sounds familiar, give yourself grace. These patterns aren’t your fault—but you do have the power to shift them.

At Blessed Ways of Life, we know that change starts with small, intentional steps. That’s why our community membership offers practical tools to help you build better conflict habits—at home, in parenting, and within yourself.

Inside our membership, you’ll find:

Communication guides and reflection prompts
Real-life conflict resolution tips
Coaching support to break old patterns
Resources to help you model emotional wellness for your kids

You don’t have to do this alone—and you don’t have to get it perfect. But with the right support, you can model a new way forward—one your children will thank you for.

👉 Learn more and join us at: www.blessedwaysoflife.com/memberships
📩 Have questions? Reach out to us at info@blessedwaysoflife.com — we’re here to help.

Bonus: Quick Self-Reflection Checklist

Are You Handling Conflict the Way You Want Your Child to Copy?